The One I Love Is Leaving Scars
by soubides
Summary: Two years ago Hikaru dyed his hair black. Ever since my world has been constantly changing. My heart, once red is now as black as Hikaru's hair.  hikaruXkaoru male Haruhi!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: The characters ****DO NOT**** belong to me!**

**WARNING:This fanfic conatains boyXboy, swearing, angst, male Haruhi, and future lemons…read at your own risk.**

**The One I Love Is Leaving Scars**

Two years ago Hikaru dyed his hair black. Ever since my world has been constantly changing. My heart, once red is now as black as Hikaru's hair.

Not many things about me are considered "normal". For instance my hair, its bright orange. I was born in japan were the dominant hair color is black. Another thing is my eyes. They're hazel, a dark green in the dark and an almost iridescent blue in the light. Ever since I was little I felt different. I thank the stars that I have a twin who could feel like an outsider with me.

Hikaru… there's so many ways I could describe him. My twin, my other half, my brother, my everything. He's always been quite stubborn. He's not the most charming person in the world but he's my twin. In the end no one can love him as much as I do. To any person Hikaru would appear my exact duplicate, but that's not true. His body may be just as lithe as mine, but his eyes are smaller. His eyebrows are thinner, and his voice, his beautiful voice is deeper.

I remember the first time I noticed Hikaru was changing. We were awkward twelve year olds. Hikaru and I had seen a poster at a premier our mother had dragged us to. With a huge grin Hikaru pointed to the poster. "see kao that's the guy I was telling you about! My future husband…isn't he cute!" His voice had cracked. The beginning of puberty. Puberty was a bitch not an ordinary bitch but the type of bitch you just wanna slap the minute she looks at you. In just one year my physical appearance had changed so much. I used to be adorable. I could wear dresses whenever I felt like it and get away with it because many thought I was a real girl. Now I could no longer pretend to be a girl. My voice had deepened, not as deep as Hikaru's but deep enough to tell I was a male. My arms and legs grew longer and my eyes became smaller, and after our growth spurt Hikaru and I became inseparable. We slept together (which our parents disapproved of) showered together (without our parents knowing) and changed all our classes so we could be together (amazingly mom and dad were fine with this). There was nothing I didn't know about Hikaru and there was nothing he didn't know about me. All of our secretes, dreams, and fears were shared between us.

So your probably thinking something along the lines like "Kaoru why are you boring us with past? Get to the yaoi! Where's the plot!"…and I promise there will be.

So our story begins freshman year. The first day of High school is always a nervewracker not knowing what teachers your gunna get and wondering endlessly if your best friend has any classes with you. The first day High school is a scary thought for me too. Despite being nervous Hikaru and I had started that day like any other. We got up, showered, ate and got dressed in our new blue school uniforms. As I got into the limo I kept my eyes on the road afraid if I looked away I would throw up my breakfast. Arriving at the school gates all I could see was a sea of yellow dresses and blue blazers. Holding Hikaru's hand I walked through the golden gates of Ouran High. High school was so weird I could already see the cliques Hikaru told me about last night. Under a giant tree in the center of the school was a group of girls all of them were very beautiful and texting. A group of guys surrounded them. A few paces away from them a group of boys stood laughing a little louder than necessary. One of them was a holding a football. Next to them there were three girls one of them was wearing neko ears. Little butterflies danced in my stomach as I watched the three girls squeal at a manga the neko ear girl was holding. The butterflies were no longer dancing, they were desperately trying to get out. Where would Hikaru and I fit in?

Our first period class we had Math, second Biology, third English, fourth History, fifth P.E., and sixth Home-Ec. This was the only class Hikaru and I didn't have together. It was pretty boring without him. Thank kami I made a friend. He was odd. He didn't look Japanese like most kids in the class did he didn't speak fluent Japanese either. His name was Tamaki Suho. He had blonde hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. He did most of the talking. After only three days of knowing each other he declared me his best friend. (I told you he was weird). Amazingly my devilish personality matched his boisterous personality. A little piece inside me told me that I only liked him because he was my friend and not Hikaru's. He was something I didn't have to share with my twin. He was my little secrete. My first friend. Looking back on it I probably should've skipped sixth period.

The following weeks of high school were boring, tedious, and routine. Hikaru and I still only kept to ourselves. Holding hands in the hallways or sharing lunch, people still gossiped. They whispered behind our backs when they thought we couldn't hear. We didn't care though. As long as Hikaru and I had each other they could all eat shit. Tamaki was still a secret. I didn't want Hikaru to know about him. But I had to tell him. Tamaki had asked me join his club. It was a host club.

I think you guys know what happened to Hikaru and me after we joined the host club. It changed us…our personality, our thoughts, especially our bond. We were close before we joined the host club but after we were attached in a way that no one could understand. We lived for only ourselves…everyone else was just a toy.

~~~Host club at play~~~

"kyaaa I came on a good day! I've never seen the twins so close to kissing!" next to the squealing fangirl another fangirl passed out blood squirting from her nose. I could hear everything around me. Every sound in the room seemed to get louder. I swear I could hear my heart beating in my chest wildly. I could feel the host club stop all their eyes trained on Hikaru and me. My heart was beating so fast!..doki doki doki. I closed my eyes when I felt Hikaru's breath on my lips. I couldn't bring myself to push him away. I've never had the urge to kiss my twin, but now in front of all these people I couldn't think of reason why we've never tried it. I felt my brother's slightly chapped lips press against mine. His lips were so warm!I slowly opened my eyes letting them glaze over I looked at my brothers eyes which were squeezed shut. The kiss lasted only 20 seconds. My first kiss had been with my brother I bet not many of you could say that! I could feel the rooms tension melt like ice. "Awe look kaoru's so red doesn't he look adorable like that Noemi-chan?" The fangirl nodded vigorously her blonde pigtails bobbing up and down. "Of-course he does. But look at Hikaru his blush is darker than Kaoru's.!kyaaa Hikaru-kun you look so cute when you blush!" I ignored the rest of the fangirls banter. I couldn't even bring myself to look in Hikaru's direction. Why had he kissed me? It felt so good. I wanted to do it again. But why did he kiss me even thinking it made no sense. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He caught me and looked away. The following week was awkward. We pretended nothing had happened but our bond it was slowly breaking. The tension we felt when we were near each other it was suffocating. If I could only go back to that day I would've done so much more to fix that break. Id patch it up and kiss the little tare that caused us so much tension. Compared to our bond in present time that little tare seems hilarious.

~~~The following week~~~

I looked across from me. Hikaru was sleeping. I remember he looked really beautiful that day. His legs were crossed elegantly His arms folded across his stomach and his head was lolled to the side the sun hitting fiery red hair perfectly. He really is beautiful. "Everyone we have a new host joining us today, please be kind to him." I honestly don't remember what Tamaki said my thoughts were still processing Hikaru's sexy sleeping face. (Yes I admit my twin is sexy) "His name is Haruhi." Kyoya cleared his throat. "Hiakru! Kaoru! Go greet our newest member!" I looked up confused as Hikaru fell out his chair he looked up as well. His pout was already forming I heard Hikaru grumble something. Great now my twin was angry. "Mommy! The evil twin just glared at me!" "Shut up Tamaki." Stupid stupid stupid!...everyone in this club is so damn stupid. I rubbed my temple trying to rub away the headache I could feel already forming. I walked slowly to Haruhi my eyes were closed. I didn't want to glare at Tamaki on my way toward him. I slowly opened my eyes and bowed. He bowed back. Finally looking to his face I blushed. He was bright red.! "N-nice to meet you kaoru-kun, Hikaru-kun." I glanced sideways to my brother he yawned and crawled back to his chair. Haruhi just giggled I guess he found Hikaru's rudeness cute? I looked at Haruhi again, I studied his face closely. There was no way he was guy! He had dark brown hair which stopped mid neck. His eyes were light brown and his lips were full and pink. Without a doubt he was the grisliest boy I've ever seen. And I've seen plenty growing up watching them strut down my mother's runway. Kyoya cleared his throat and I realized I had been staring. "O-oh nice to meet you as well Haruhi-kun" and there it was again! The blush! "I hope well be great friends" I smiled and with that I walked away.

~20 minutes later the Hosts begin to play~

"Hikaru wake up its time to start hosting." No emotion. My voice was monotone. "the customers are arriving." I really didn't want to wake him up. He looked so peaceful sleeping. He cracked his eyes open and stood up without a single glance in my direction. I wanted to say something, anything that would make things between alright again. The words just dried in my throat. I just kept on reminding myself ,he was the one who kissed you.

"Hello Hikaru-Kun , Kaoru-Kun." Our first customer of the day had arrived. Clucking his tongue Hikaru sat back down. "So Kaoru-kun how was your day?" Putting on a fake smile I replied "It was great how was yours moneko-chan? The fangirl blushed red she "kyaaed" then proceeded to tell me about her day. I ignored her, to tell you the truth, hosting is boring. "Hikaru, Kaoru you've both met Haruhi, teach him the basics of hosting." I looked up to Haruhi's face. He was blushing again, which made me blush in return. "Ehh why Kyoya? Tell Hunni to do it!" Hikaru whined next to me. His face was buried between his knees. "No, Hunni and Mori have already passed their customer limit, you both only have one." Kyoya turned to smile at Moneko-Chan. "How are you today Moneko-chan?" Moneko blushed. "Im fine thanks." Haruhi was still fidgeting. He was so nervous. I couldn't stop looking at him. No I wasn't in love with him if that's what you're thinking. I just remember finding him interesting. "Nice to meet you Moneko-Chan, Im Haruhi." The minute the words left Haruhi's pink lips, Moneko-chans nose erupted. Squirting blood everywhere she fell over her seat. Her yellow dress rode up I could see her pink undies which had the word 'Tuesday' and a little bunny on them. They were cute; I made a note to buy some for myself. It amazed me that no one did anything for about a minute. Haruhi and I stared; Hikaru snickered with his head still between his legs. Finally Kyoya broke the silence he picked Moneko-chan up bridal style and carried her somewhere, probably the nurse. I heard Haruhi clear his throat. "Okay let's try this again, Hello you must be Hikaru; Im Haruhi nice to meet you." Hikaru clucked his tongue finally pulling his head out from between his legs. He looked up, anger written all over his face. I could almost see Hikarus breath catch, he blushed. The minute their eyes met I could see the pieces of the puzzle click…and my heart sank. October 17 2009 was the day my nightmare began.

**Hmm so what do you think?..should I continue Kaoru's story? Tell me what you thought! This story is totally random but anyways Thanks for reading!^,^**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: The characters ****DO NOT**** belong to me!**

**WARNING: This fanfic conatains boyXboy, swearing, angst, male Haruhi, and future lemons…read at your own risk.**

Today Hikaru got his first piercing. A little stud on his nose barely noticeable, but to me it was like a big fat sign. Like those flashy bright signs you see on top of strip bars. It was a sign that reminded me how far we've drifted. Hikaru walked right past me as I sat down on the couch. He didn't even glance in my direction. He flipped his black hair and stomped up the stairs, probably to go call that slut.

~~~ two years ago~~~

It was awkward not holding Hikaru's hand walking down the hall. Even with all the fangirls following close behind me, I felt lonely. It had been two weeks since I last talked to Hikaru. I wanted to talk to him so bad. Tell him I was sorry, tell him I missed him, but I couldn't. What would I say…how could I even bring it up? He had kissed me.

I arrived late to math. As I walked into class I bowed my head and apologized to Izumi-sensei. It wasn't embarrassing arriving late but bowing to this douche made me wanna slap myself. From the back of the room I heard someone giggle. I looked up with an insult ready but the sight of Haruhi giggling made my breath catch. His head was thrown back slightly giving me a perfect view of his pale neck. His cheeks were pink and his eyes were closed. A slender hand covered his mouth. I smiled as he opened his eyes. A beautiful shade of red covered his pink cheeks. The douche cleared his throat "all right Kaoru go have a seat." I blushed realizing the whole class saw the interaction between Haruhi and me. I walked to my seat with my head down. I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. I sat down in my seat which was located next to Hikaru's. I blushed even redder when I felt Hikaru's eyes on me. Ignoring him I took out last night's homework and my mew mew kitty led pencil. "okay class who knows the answer to number three?"

~~30 minutes later~~

What the fuck! Hikaru was still staring at me. It made me feel self-conscious. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He caught my glance and smirked. What the fuck again! Uhhh he's so weird. Why would he acknowledge my existence now after two weeks of acting like I didn't exists? I looked at the clock, only 8 more minutes and I would be free of math and more importantly Hikaru's stare. It scared me. Under his gaze I felt…hot. I didn't want him to look away. I wanted him to look only at me if he looked away now id' melt. All these emotions frightened me, who'd knew a gaze could be this powerful.

I looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time. Are you fucking kidding me only fucking five minutes passed? I sighed only three minutes to go. Suddenly I felt a whish of air next to my hand. Looking down next to my mew mew kitty pencil I saw a note folded into the shape of a heart. I looked around then swallowing my nerves I looked in Hikaru's direction he caught me and looked away not even smiling like he had before. "Okay class make sure you finish your essays its due Friday, have a good day." And with that the bell rang. People around me ran to the door sighing and giggling with their hands full of books, I understood their urgency to get out this room; the douche was too much to handle any longer than one hour. I was the last to leave; I took my time putting my math book into my hello kitty bag. Mr. Douche had left too, probably to go stuff his fatass face in the teacher's lounge. I looked at the heart shaped note. I picked it up and opened it; I was shocked at what I read.

Dear Kaoru,

Yep this is Hikaru…We really need to talk. I'll explain anything you want. Just skip next period and meet me in the host club.

For a minute I couldn't even blink. I was so happy, finally after two long weeks my stupid brother was ready to talk!

~~10 minutes later in the Host club the twins meet~~

To say I was nervous was an understatement. My stomach was full of butterflies and my cheeks, if they turned any redder id probably pass out! I wanted to get the fuck off the couch and run away from my twin. He sat across from me on a pink love seat. He was also blushing his hands were in his lap and his head was bent down. He looked really cute like that. I had missed him.

"Alright Kaoru first I wanna say im sorry for kissing you." He looked up and stared at me in the eyes. His cheeks looked even redder than before. "Im also sorry for ignoring you I –I just didn't know what to say to you." He closed his mouth with an audible snap. I looked away, his gaze was too intense. "Why'd you kiss me then Hikaru?" I couldn't let the embarrassment stop me from asking. I had to know, I needed my twin back. My other half, without him I was incomplete. I looked up to my brother and instantly regretted the words I had just spoken. His face , his beautiful face looked like if he was drowning. He looked away his long eyelashes fluttering open then closed. His eyes were lost to me I couldn't grow the balls to look into them.

"i-I don't know" I sighed and looked around the room towards the giant clock. It was almost time for the the next period to start. I got up and sat next to my twin on the little love seat. Grabbing his hand I put it on my cheek. "It's alright Hika, whatever drove you to kissing me that day; I want you to know that's it's alright. It didn't disgust me…it just shocked me." My twins honey colored eyes finally connected with mine. I blushed and looked down; he looked so cute. The urge to kiss him was unbearable. Hikaru brought both his hands and put them on my face. "Kaoru can I kiss you again" he smirked as he saw my cheeks get darker and my head nod silently. Our second kiss was…till this day I'll never forget it. I closed my eyes as my brother's hands on my cheeks got hot and sweaty. His breath blew against my quivering lips. He gently pressed his lips against mine. His hands on my cheeks tightened at the little contact and pulled my face forward. My lips crashed against his and the added pressure forced me to gasp. My twins tongue forced its way into my mouth. His tongue was talented but clumsy. He stroked my tongue with his and when his tongue reached the sensitive area at the back of my throat I moaned. For the first time in the short 15 years of my life I wanted to touch my twin inappropriately I slid my hand up my twins upper thigh and rubbed It. Every time I moaned id inch my hand higher until finally my hand rested over my twin's clothed dick. Hikaru realized and broke the kiss off. He looked at me then smirked when he saw the saliva that was on the corner of my lip. He gently swiped it off with his thumb then looked down at my hand. His smirk turned into a full blown grin. "Kaoru you naughty little boy what are you doing im still an innocent virgin!" I laughed and slapped him "I-".._riiiiiiing!_ My words were cut off by the bell.

~~~freshman lunch~~~

As we walked to lunch Hikaru and I held hands. We weren't really hungry so we took our time and walked at our own slow pace. "Hey Hika, what do you think about Haruhi?" From the corner of my eye I saw Hikaru blush. "He's cute." He squeezed my hand. "But not as cute as you Kao." As we walked into the cafeteria I let go Hikaru's hand. Unlike the beginning of the year, when we held hands it didn't cause shocked whispers instead it brought squealing fangirls. For lunch I got a lobster sandwhich dipped in lemon sauce and a chocolate cake covered in blueberry sauce. Hikaru got the same exact thing. We sat at the end of the cafeteria by the giant windows. From here we could see the east tower and the giant gold clock hanging on it. The sun coming from the windows illuminated my lobster sandwich. In the sun the grilled bread smothered in yellow lemon sauce suddenly didn't look so appetizing. I looked at my giant piece of cake too and sighed it looked like a giant piece of turd. I looked at my brother who was happily picking at his lobster. "Nee Hika you want my sandwich unlike you im trying to watch my weight, I don't want to be too fat when mom's spring collection hits the runway." I winked at him then stuck out my tongue. Hikaru's face turned red "s-shut up Kaoru im not fat!" I laughed at how easy my twin was to anger. "Hey guys, mind if I sit with you?" shocked I turned red with anger I swear these fangirls are starting to cross the line… when I looked up I blushed. There was Haruhi's smiling face. I "S-sure Haruhi-kun!" Hikaru stuttered out. I looked over toward my brother confused. Why was he so nervous?...It made me irritated. I couldn't understand the feelings he was having. Haruhi sat down next to Hikaru. My twin blushed and looked out the window pretending to be interested in something outside. I rolled my eyes. "so Haruhi-kun how are you liking ouran?" Haruhi's wide brown eyes blinked owlishly. "I love it!...It's so much bigger than my old school!" I laughed; Hikaru was still busy looking at something outside. I looked down to Haruhi's empty hands. "Where's your lunch Haruhi-kun?" "Ohh I came late, all the good food was gone." Haruhi's pink lips turned down into a pout. I gestured to my cake "Do you want my cake, im to full to eat it." I looked to Hikaru's direction who was now looking at me curiously. I smiled back in a devilish manner. "umm sure Kaoru-kun ill appreciate it…but can I try it first." I smiled at him. I swabbed my finger on the top of my cake. Then lifting my pointer finger which was now covered in blueberry sauce put it in front of Haruhi's face. "Here you go Haruhi-kun, open wide." Haruhi blushed but slightly let his bottom lip drop. I stuck my finger inside. I looked at him in the eye and blushed, which in turn made him suck on my finger. As I pulled my finger out, Haruhi's mouth made a little 'pop' sound. He looked up and smiled "It was delicious thank-you Kaoru-kun!" I handed Haruhi my cake. "Thank you" he said again. I simply smiled in return. From the corner of my eye I saw Hikaru frown.

~~~present time~~~

I had fallen asleep on the couch. The channel was tuned to the news. I sighed and turned it off. I was so cold. I guess falling asleep on the couch in hello kitty short-shorts and a tank top in the middle of winter was a no-no. I heard Hikaru slam his door I quickly laid back down and pretended to sleep. I heard Hikaru's boots stomp down the stairs. I slowly cracked one of my eyes open; all I could see was the silver of his nose stud. I had fallen asleep at 1:00 it was probably 4:00 now. As he opened the door I saw the outline of his body. He didn't even look back as he slammed the door. I curled into a ball. I didn't want to cry but I could already feel them on the edge of my eyes. I reached for my phone which was on the coffee table. I called Neko. In times like these I was glad he was there. He answered on the first ring. "Hey babe I missed you today, where were you?" I whimpered then began to tell my boyfriend how much I missed him.

**Dun Dun Dun…So thanks to everyone who reviewed I appreciate the feedback.! I wasn't planning on continuing!^.^**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: The characters ****DO NOT**** belong to me!**

**WARNING: This fanfic contains boyXboy, swearing, angst, male Haruhi, and future lemons…read at your own risk. Oh and misa misa from death note makes a lil appearance in this chap. **

**Also please review im starting to lose interest in this story_honestly it takes me FOREVER to write these out!Anyways thanks for reading.3**

It's currently 4 pm on a cold Saturday afternoon. Im wearing purple velvet shorts with black lace tights. My black hoodie (which fits too big) because it belongs to Neko, says enjoi in bright orange writing. My Ugg boots are tan and a bit dirty from overusing them. I put on my giant Aldo sunglasses. If anybody were to see me right now I'd die of shame. This was too embarrassing. Dressing like Brittany Spears before the comeback was not on my to do list. I gripped my boyfriend's hand tighter as we crossed the street. "Im hope you know, im very angry with you at the moment. "I looked all around me cautiously; any one of the people at the cross light could be a person I knew. Neko looked down to me smirking at how clingy I was being. I hid my face and checked all around me again just to be safe. "oh and why are you mad." He smiled shaking my death grip off. He pulled out equally large Aldo sunglasses and put them over his baby blue eyes. As the light flashed red, we crossed the crowded street. I grabbed his hand in another death grip; staring ahead I could see the ink shop. Finally arriving on the other side of the street, Neko smiled. "After all you're the one who suggested we get tattoos. I "epped" and realized how stupid I had been for letting Hikaru's dumbass choices influence me,

~~~Two years ago~~~

Hikaru was lying on top of me. His long legs hung loosely on the bed and his arms were wrapped around me. It would've been nice if he hadn't been scolding me. "Kaoru why did you do that with Haruhi today?" My twins arms loosened for a second then retightened with more force than before. I decided to play dumb. "What are you talking about?" He clucked his tongue. "You know how you finger feed him in lunch today.." Hikaru's grip tightened, for seconds I couldn't even breathe. He put his head between my head and shoulders. "d-do you like him?" When his rushed whisper came out I felt his breath on my neck. I shuddered, and pushed my body harder against his. "No , I just find him interesting…what about you?" I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my neck then realized Hikaru had bitten me. "Of course not! I only like you Kaoru." He bit me again when I didn't reply. "Oh." I blushed as his words sunk in. "That's a relief." I ran my hands down his bare back. His small shoulders relaxed under my hands, his body got heavier and I sighed. His body so heavy against mine, felt so good; so warm. I ran my hands through his orange hair that looked almost red in the dark room and laughed.

What I don't understand, even as I write this is…why did I lie? Why did he lie! I can't help but think that if we had told the truth that day we could've saved two years' worth of lies.

~~Host club at play~~

Our twinscest act had reached a new high. We had taken Tamaki's spot as number one most requested host. Our acts no longer consisted of almost kisses and longing glances. All the kissing and touching in our acts were real. (Mostly cause we were 15 year old freshman who were scared to kiss at home.) We were bolder, not bold enough to fuck; but bold enough to touch places on each other's bodies were your brothers hands should never be. We had convinced ourselves that only we could understand each other. We were sadly and unknowingly also more ignorant. "Love that blooms to fast also wilts just as fast, love that is nurtured and feed will last a lifetime". A quote I now highly believe in.

~~~Math class the next day~~~

"The projects are due tomorrow, any later and I'll give you a zero for the term." I glared at Mr. Douche, his flabby gullet giggled every time he spoke. His gross black eyes glared at me. "Kaoru come up here I need a word with you." Glaring right back I got up and walked up to fatasses desk. I didn't even try to fake a smile. "Yes Mr. Izumi." His forehead wrinkles doubled as his thick eyebrows rose questionably. "Watch the attitude Kaoru, ill happily send you to the dean's office again." I rolled my eyes. How could I possibly respect him when he himself was so gross? "I need you to work with Haruhi on the project; he doesn't seem to understand the material." His smile twisted and turned wicked. "Im only asking you because your brother refused to do it. He's good at math that means your good at it too…after all your twins you're the same person." Never in my two semesters of being in this class had I wanted to slap him so hard. Even when he called me a fag in front of mum on parents night. I had controlled my anger and handled it like a gentleman. He smiled knowingly. He knew perfectly well that if I refused, I'd be signing my own slip to the deans. Clenching my fists I walked back to my seat. I didn't want to see his double chins any longer. "Sure" was all I said before I sat down. Hikaru snickered next to me. Haruhi blushed and whispered an "im sorry"

~~~Twins Room~~~

Everywhere I looked I couldn't find it! Under the dresser; nope, under the bed; nope, in moms closet; amazingly no. Ugh why couldn't I find my blue polka dotted shorts? Without them my shirt would look stupid. I pulled on my hair and checked under the dresser again. I reached my hand down under the dresser. Feeling around blindly I couldn't find anything. I reached in deeper my cheeks were getting red from the rubbing against the carpet, my head was starting to hurt from all the blood rushing to it, and my ass was high in the air. I blushed as I realized how I probably looked. I had finally gotten my undies with the days of the weeks on them. But instead of bunnies mine had nekos. The only problem I had with them was that every time I wore them my ass checks would swallow the panties up and make them look like a thong. Which was humiliating to my "manly" self-esteem. Sadly I am a judgmental creature (blame it on my mom.) and refuse to stop wearing them because there so damn cute. Next I checked under the bed again. I found three necklaces, one ring, five shirts, and no blue polka dotted shorts. I was at my wits end until finally, shinning like the sun; was my blue polka dotted shorts! Stupid shorts gave me a headache. At least ill look cute when Haruhi comes over. I walked over to the red coffee table which was full of x-box games. I bent over and squished my hand between the two metal bars. How the fuck did they get under there? I leaned more forward and raised my ass a little higher. Almost there…just a little more…AHH..! What the fuck was that? "hehe Kaoru your giving big brother a nice view back here, I didn't think your thong could go up any higher but…" He pulled my panties up like he had done moments ago. "Ahh s-stop Hikaru…were still at home, we can get caught!" He ignored me. "but Kaoru look your ass just keeps eating your cute lil' thong up!" He slapped my ass then decided to kiss it. "S-STOP! Your being weird!" "heh alright how about if I lick it?" without warning he licked the perimeter of my ass then worked his way in. I could feel his tongue making little circles all over my ass. He slowly made his way to my hole, and began sucking it thru my panties. "m-mm Hika haaa w-hy are you doing this, haa it's weird; brothers don't do these kinds of things? He stopped immediately, almost as if my words froze him. The tension in the room was suffocating. The awkward position didn't help either. I quickly turned around the minute Hikaru let out a shaky breath. He stood up and looked down to me. I couldn't read the emotions playing across his face. He wasn't smiling nor smirking. He looked as if he was seeing thru me…it scared me. I waited for him to collect his thoughts,like a good brother would. After about three minutes Hikaru came back to life. He ran his fingers thorugh my hairthen over my eyes, my pink cheeks, and finally my lips; they lingered there for a minute then dropped. "Kaoru why would you even say that …we were never normal brothers." I now understood the faces he had made earliert…irony.

This whole situation was ironic.

"Yeah that's true.." I wanted this conversation to end, because deep down I want to believe that what I and Hikaru do wasn't wrong. Im not stupid enough to think that it's right but…if what we feel is wrong…I don't want to know what's right. Hikaru sighed and looked back down to me. He looked really tired. His beautiful hazel eyes had bags under them. I leaned forward and kissed the inside of his thigh. I want him to be happy. Don't think about things like wrong and right , Hikaru for my sake I want to keep us as normal as we possibly can be…but the lines only so thick.

~~20 minutes later~~~

"Oh I see, you make this so much easier to understand Hikaru-kun, Izumi-sensei isn't very good at teaching!" gold eyes closed mischievously as a slender hand came up to a creamy neck. The twinkling sound of laughter came out pink pouty lips. God he was so beautiful. Even sitting next to Hikaru, he still held his own. "Yaa I know right!, I don't even pay attention in his class; I just stare at his double chins flap!" Hikaru laughed at his own stupid joke. His hand unconsciously rested on top of Haruhi's knee. Jealousy is an emotion I rarely feel since I am a vain person. But staring at them all I could see was green. "Omg, I almost forgot!" Haruhi's owlish eyes turned in my direction. "Im so sorry Kaoru-kun, that I made Izumi-sensei scram at you today!" Haruhi's eyes looked so guilty. All my thoughts of green monsters flew out the window. "I-it's fine really!...that asshole just likes to pick on me." "Speaking of assholes kaoru mffm.."Before my twin could even finish his sentence I planted a big wet one on him. Which was a horrible idea. Our teeth clashed and I ended up cutting my lip …yay for dumb ideas. Haruhi laughed and Hikaru being the idiot he was licked the blood of my lips and kissed me again. This time no teeth were involved, only tongue, yes lots of tongue…and a little bit of blood. Heh my green monster was happy. It cheered me on in my head…let's give Haruhi a show!

~~~After curfew at the Hitachins ~~~

"MOM! We missed you!" Hikaru and I said in perfect unison. "Yes my little angels, I've missed you too. Mommy's very busy right now though. Where's your father, I have a client waiting for me in the garden room." Without waiting for an answer our mother went into the game room to look for him. Hikaru and I just shrugged our shoulders. She was always too busy to bother anyway.

~5minutes later~

"Im bored Kaoru."

"Don't look at me, im bored to!"

"Yaa I wanted to play with your ass a lil longer but moms here!"

"…"

"Hey, wanna go see whose mom client is?"

"Sure, why not."

~~in the sun room~~

"Hey squat a little lower, all I can see is a giant red hat!"

"Shut up! I can't even see anything!"

"Alright sheesh you don't havta get snippy with me!"

"Fuck yo.."

"HEY WHO'S THERE?"

"oh shit Kaoru drop me, let's ruuun.!"

"I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, COME OUT WHERE I CA SEE YOU?"

"ALLRIGHT LADY SHESH!" we said in unison.

"Calm down were the sons of this estate, we live here." We grabbed each other's hand. This lady couldn't be a day over 20. Her hair was gold blond with two little pigtails on each side of her head. She also wore heavy Goth make-up. Her dress was violet. The top half was made up of mostly black lace and the bottom had more purple. Her waist was covered in a corset and the bottom of her shirt flared out like a mini ball gown. Sitting down she looked little, but when she stood up she looked about 5"8. Duhh obviously her tall Goth boots added to her height. "Oh I'm Misa nice to meet you." She smiled then stared at Hikaru's and my joined hands. "Um im just curious, but why are you guys holding hands?" Without hesitating Hikaru answered. "Kaoru is my boyfriend." I nearly choked on the air I was breathing. I looked at Hikaru shocked then quickly back to Misa. I didn't want her to be disgusted..! But when I looked she didn't look disgusted. In fact she was smiling. I was confused. "Aren't you shocked Misa-chan? My twin brother just told you were lovers?" Misa's smile just got bigger. Her pretty white teeth shone in the sun. "Ofcourse I'm shocked, but disgusted?...no. I believe love is for everyone. Even if that person you love is your brother. You deserve it…After all a world without love is a world full of hate." I never forgot her words. Or the smile Hikaru gave after them. "You really think so Misa-chan?" Hikaru's words came out rushed. "you think Kaoru and I are normal?" Misa's face scrunched up. "Don't push it kid, nothings normal about dating your twin brother!" I never forgot those words either. "Shit im getting irritated mind if I smoke?" We nodded our heads and took a seat across from Misa. I don't know what made me notice it but I did somehow. Three black dots on her thin wrists. "Hey Misa, what's that on your wrist?" Misa exhaled then slowly looked down to her folded up wrist. " Hmm, oh you mean this?" She flashed us her wrist. The three dots were actually three doves. She looked back down. "It's a tattoo I got when I was a stupid sixteen year old girl." Misa took another drag. Hikaru had asked the next question. "What's it mean?" "It means.." She closed her eyes and took another drag. "It means a lot of things to me…when I got it meant freedom to leave my mother and my abusive father. Two years ago, when I meant my fiancée it meant love, and last year they meant death…these doves have many meaning to me." She let only one tear drop down her pretty face, her heavy gothic make-up started to smudge. Hikaru and I were silent as Misa tried to cry without sound. We just watched her until our mother finally came out and told us to leave. That was the last time I saw Misa.

~~Present~~

"You're so conceited!" Im currently sitting on top of porcelain sink with a glob of Vaseline in my hand. I rubbed it over my still red tattoo. In the mirror I could see my boyfriend checking himself out. "Really babe, it's not even that big. Don't break the mirror." His eyes widened for a second, then returned to their normal size. "Don't hate! My star is way cooler than your dove, anyways I was gunna ask you at the shop; why a dove?" I put my new Hello Kitty band aid over my wrist, and then hopped off the sink. It still stinged. Walking over to neko, who was now had a curious look on his face, I blushed. I didn't make eye contact. As soon as I got close enough, I put my arms around his thin waste. "Umm Kaoru?" I buried my head in his back and breathed in his wonderful sent. I hugged him tighter. I wanted to cry…all these memories that washed over me, were killing me. "I-it means at the moment I love you." Neko turned his body around and hugged me back tightly. I refused to look up. I kept my face buried in his chest. If I looked up now, I'd end up crying. "I love you too Kaoru, I was thinking of getting your name inside the star." I looked up shocked, forgetting my memories for a moment, I focused on neko. On his beautiful blue eyes, his words, his breathing…anything to make me forget the moans coming from next door.

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